Hey, Darcy here. So, I’ve got this story to tell. It’s starts with this little girl who wasn’t exactly skinny but wasn’t exactly fat either. She grows up in this family that’s dysfunctional as fuck but still caring and loving. She was never told that she was fat or ugly or needed to lose weight. She was accepted just as she is. It wasn’t until middle school that she even noticed her body shape at all. You know how it is, puberty is coming at you full force and suddenly you like boys and you’re wondering if boys like you. You’re wondering if they like the way you look. She felt the same. (If you haven’t caught on yet, this is about me. Just a heads up.) I didn’t outwardly acknowledge my insecurities because although I was outspoken, I wasn’t outgoing. I could be shy and quiet and no one really noticed me to begin with so I followed around other more outgoing people and latched on to their naturally high self-esteem. As you can probably tell, it was a disaster. It wasn’t until further introspection, that I even noticed that everyone has insecurities and everyone has issues with wanting to look good. I wasn’t alone. That was the first step and the hardest. It’s something of a mystery but I know many of my friends have told me over the years how they never wanted to share their issues about themselves with other people because there wasn’t anyway they could help them. I believed it too, to an extent. See, I think that although you have friends who might not be able to identify with all your specific insecurities, they can still help you overcome them. Through a little process I like to call “pointing out the goods things”. It took me a while in the friend department to even find someone genuine enough to want to point out the good things about me and vice versa. I didn’t exactly have the greatest of friends, after basically being a lapdog for half my childhood. I was in 8th grade and soon going into high school when by what I can only call pure luck, I stumbled upon some genuine and mature friends. We still had a lot to learn about ourselves and each other but it would be a mistake if I didn’t say they helped me start my tumultuous but rewarding journey towards self-love.
It’s a defining moment in any child’s life when they can go home and look in the mirror and like what they see. I know some of you are thinking, this didn’t have the sad ending I was thinking it would. That’s because it wasn’t a sad story to begin with and it’s not even over yet. In fact, at my ripe age of 19, I’d say it’s just beginning. I don’t want to sound conceited but I know my stuff when it comes to self-love. I’ve had plenty of people make fun of me before and plenty of people try and put me down for the way I look and I’ve managed to bounce back every time. But this isn’t about me. This is for all those kids out there, boys, girls, transgender, etc. that are working on their self-love. Beauty is multi-faceted. Different people think beauty is different things. I’ve always believed that beauty although outwardly matters more to people, isn’t just consisting of your face and body shape. It’s your skin, your personal hygiene, your smell, your taste, your touch. Everyone says it’s only if you look good, but it’s so much more than that, at least to the people who care. The amount of time and money people spend on making themselves look good, and feel good, and smell good, and talk right and act right. It’s overwhelming to say the least. It’s been my philosophy to just say fuck it, and stop caring what anyone else thinks about you. Believe whatever you want about what beauty is to you. It’s influenced by your culture, your family, your experiences. Beautiful things are not restricted to just what we are but also in the things we do. But, here’s the kicker, you can’t believe someone else or something else is beautiful until you believe that you are beautiful. You can fool yourself into thinking it, but it’s only gonna hurt you more in the end. You are all you’ve got, day in and day out. You should like what you see in the mirror and you should be proud in your own skin, and in your own head. Before you start to admire someone else’s outwards appearance, think about all the things that you believe make up beauty. I’m sure some of you will say, it’s all the things you don’t have. Which is why I suggest you find some genuine friends who play that game I told you about “pointing out the good things.” Having that pro/con list in your head about what you like and don’t like about yourself isn’t necessarily a bad thing. You’re never gonna be without insecurities, they are apart of life. Don’t dismiss them and don’t hide them. It’s better to be upfront about them and show people you’re working on them as you go. But while making that list in your head, I think it’s safe to say that the cons should be shorter than the pros. This isn’t a “point out everything wrong game”, it’s a healthy way to understand you aren’t perfect but no one is and you should focus on the good.
I’ve seen and experienced first-hand what happens when you don’t love yourself enough, it’s painful and even sometimes dangerous. I don’t want that for anyone but didn’t know how to properly reach people out there who needed help or wanted help but didn’t know how to ask for it. So, I decided the best way would be to just put it out there and see if anyone gives a shit. But, I’ve got some tips I’ve picked up along the way so go check them out and if you need me, just let me know.
xoxo Darcy Mae Modica
P.s. I like what you’re wearing today. You look really cute. Also, thanks for coming to my site. You’re amazing.